Speaking The Truth
In the 1970’s the TV game show To Tell the Truth was on the air. The show was hosted by many over the years like Bert Convy and Merv Griffin, to name two.
“The truth is out there”, to quote the Sci-fi TV show, The X Files. Telling the truth also relates to ADD. Many ADD’ers are caught up in the challenges of scheduling, organization and often have a hard time saying no. Part of the challenge in saying no, sometimes relates to speaking the truth. I’m not talking about lying. I’m actually referring to overcoming the fear of saying what needs to be said, sometimes it’s a hard message to deliver. When we need to deliver that hard message, it could be something as simple as letting a person know you don’t have time to get together for lunch. It could also be a very hard thing to say in a relationship. Often, procrastination delays the truth.
When we take a calm and relaxed approach to speaking the truth, the truth is almost always heard and accepted by the person who needs to hear it. It opens the channels of communications, gains peoples respect and avoids the fear and procrastination that many people get caught up in. Any ADD’er will tell you, when you put something off or don’t take a challenge head on……in piles up and can quickly turn a mole hill into a mountain.
March 17th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Hello Mr. Hamilton
Wow, blogging is fun, kinda like journaling in public!
I like the article, I agree that taking a calm relaxed approach in speaking the truth is important. Procrastination or avoidance comes from a place of fear, (what are you afraid of?) while patience is a reaction to ones spirit. Procrastination may very well delay the truth, however, it is also a valid reaction to something not feeling quite right, it buys us time to thoroughly investigate a situation or providing time to prepare for that difficult conversation.
We all have our own version of the truth, actually the truth is rarely quite as black and white as we would like to think. Honouring and communicating our own truth takes a tremendous amount of self awareness, courage, strength and stamina. We are often sidetracked by our desire to please, avoid disappointing others or by societies barometors. We were brought up to behave, be nice, polite and kind.
Understanding the value of kindness vs. being nice is imperative in any successful relations. Being kind is brave, being nice simply scratches the surface and to me feels distant, unattached. Expressing our intention is equally important when telling the truth. Ask yourself, why do I need to speak this truth, what do I hope to accommplish, who is my audience and how will I communicate it.
I believe that curiosity is key in understanding others, it keeps a situation nuetral, nobody has to win or loose. Our mind (ego) desperately seeks to understand, figure out or even fix a situation, our tendancy to believe in only 2 solutions, right or wrong. Our heart on the other hands, seeks, compassion, acceptance and love. If you approach a situation caring, listening and you come from a genuine and curious (wondering) perspective, people are more inclined to open up and share. If you sense that someone is holding back, withholding truth, making accusations or challenging them never works in your favor. The inability to fully disclose the truth is indicative of internal struggles, not necessarily a peson of deciet. A behaviour is not a person. Wanna get to know someone’s truth? Don’t assume to know them, get curious, ask questions, be open and without judgement, instead, invite perspective and be unattached to being right!
The answer to all of our questions is available, the truth will unfold and love and patience are key. Trust that we are unique and we are same, creative, resourceful and whole.
With Love and Gratitude