I stumbled across a blog called ThinkingWoman1 and a very interesting post, on the difference between narcissism and self-confidence. While you may or may not like many of the opinions expressed on this site (as I found), I did like the comparative differences between narcissism and self-confidence. Many people with ADD are impacted by narcissism, so this is a very relevant post and this blog has done a great job of capturing these differences.
- Narcissism is all about self. Self-confidence is inclusive.
- Narcissism is about being better than. Self-confidence is about being as good as you can possibly be and/or as good as everyone else.
- Narcissists want recognition and attention. Self-confident people want to do what they love and do it well.
- Narcissism is about entitlement. Self-confidence is about celebrating achievement.
- Narcissism is about projecting a false image. Self-confidence is about taking pride in what I know, what I have learned/studied and what I know I am good at.
- Narcissists lie. Self-confident people are goal-oriented and want to win but make no false promises.
- Narcissists repress their emotions/feelings. Self-confident people possess freedom of expression.
- Narcissists are manipulative. Self-confident people are persuasive.
- Narcissists are motivated by power and control. Self-confident people are motivated by achievement.
- Narcissists are obsessed about appearance. Self-confident people care more about their abilities.
- Narcissists care little for human values. Self-confident people value being human.
- Narcissists value material possessions. Self-confident people value experience.
- Narcissists value notoriety. Self-confident people value dignity.
Sadly, I’ve come across a lot of people who don’t know the difference.
Excellent, helpful post. I’d like to use some of these distinctions when I’m helping people embrace confidence who fear they will turn into narcissists. I usually reassure that if you’re worried about becoming a narcissist, that is protection alone ; )
I checked out some thing related to this post via google news… I was interested and then began searching around, then somehow landed here… anyway, I think that I agree with what you talk about here. But I am going to go check what additional information I can find too.
Seems like a fine line between narcissism and self confidence. It would take a saint to always remain self confident and not stray to the other side.
I just wanted to say thank you for that post. I am someone who is always looking to better him self, and i recently took some online personality tests which suggested i was narcissistic, much to my horror. I do hold myself in high regard, and appreciate and recognize the natural strengths I’ve been blessed with, but i also have high regards for all people, and feel deep empathy and a genuine desire to see the end of suffering and inequality. It was deeply disturbing to me that i could unknowingly be the very type of person who’s egocentric behaviors have caused so much damage in this world. I do feel that I am intelligent, and stand out from the crowd in many aspects of my life, but only because i lucked out in the genetic lottery, but by no means do i think that means i am somehow better or more important than anyone else… we all contribute something to our society, and it would no more be able to function without janitors as it would without engineers. furthermore, they’re are many different types of intelligence, academic is just one. i am very aware that there will always be something that the next person can do better than me. That said I do hold myself to a high standard, have a desire to achieve, and enjoy discussing some of my prouder moments… but the thought of being a narcissist caused guilty for feeling this pride in my body and accomplishments. However reading this article has set my mind at ease… there is nothing wrong with confidence, only if it is demeaning of other and callous. you’ve hit the nail on the head here… this is a very important distinction. Thank you, so much!