The lakefront vacation on the beach is wrapping up, just packing to head home now. Having the privilege of hanging out with four kids for a week has been great. As adults, we all tend to get lost in life, focused on work and other things that become what we think, are priorities.
Thanks Valerie, Kristy, Kjel & Jackson……it was great to forget about a lot of thinks this week and drift off to a place that adults forget about. A place that is fun, care free, silly, messy, where chips and Popsicles are part of the daily diet and most of what goes on in our adult world doesn’t matter.
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Have you taken the time to ensure that internal off switch inside you got flipped today? ADD’ers really need to ensure we are aware that we need to slow down and turn life off for a few moments every day. That time many people call a break, or coffee break or mental vacation is crucial. It allows us to refocus, energize and break up the day a little.
Even on vacation, I’ve tried to take the time to flip my internal switch to off. This afternoon I set myself up on a comfortable lounge chair on the beach about 10 meters from the shore line. The sun shine’s warmth covered me, the sound of the waves gently rolling in and the down time allowed me to fall into a 20 minute slumber. Upon awakening, I was focused, energized and ready to go!
While we don’t have the luxury of relaxing at the beach by the water every day, this is a great example of flipping that off switch for a short period of time and delivering some great benefits. Have you found your place and time to turn off today yet? If so, why don’t you share it with us?
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Even on vacation and relaxing in one of the most tranquil and beautiful places in the world, parents are challenged. Parenting with ADD, heck parenting for anyone (LOL) does require the development of the skills that enable us to take a deep breath, communicate clearly and deliver a message that educates kids and sends a message. I find that literally taking a deep breath before I respond is effective. Give it a try, it allows me to gather my thoughts and think for that extra second.
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My blog got hacked, thank goodness for back ups!! To my many followers, sorry about the inconvenience. The hack hob has converted a lot of apostrophes into an odd display (n’t). I’m manually fixing it, thanks 
The hacker might have ADD/ADHD, he appears to be very hyper focused.
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I was reminded by a very wise woman today about the importance of living in the now. As an ADD’er and like many others, on occasion I get lost and lose my focus on what’s happening, right now. Instead, our thoughts bounce around and we forget to enjoy the moment we are actually in. That moment could be with family, a sweet-heart, or something as simple as a movie. Better yet, it could be sitting at the beach like I’m doing right now
Sometimes we all need to do a reality check and take stock in what we have, the positive things in our life and most importantly, what is happening right now. As the saying goes, “take the time to smell the roses”.
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If you’ve never seen the movie Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, you’ve missed one of my favorite comedies. The memorable character Dr. Evil says “Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! I’ve got a bag full of Sh for you!”
While Dr. Evil may not be delivering the message I’m trying to, there is a lot in his comment. Not talking and listening can really offer you a different perspective on a situation. Many ADD’ers have that impulsive nature and will interrupt before someone is done speaking. Imagine what the outcome of a person’s statement is half way through it, versus at the end of it? Likely completely different. Being aware of this is a very important element of communicating effectively, especially with ADD/ADHD.
I use a little trick sometimes, where I literally bite my tongue. Seriously, I actually place it between my back teeth until the person I am listening to is done speaking. It’s very effective and it starts to work on that skill of listening, before someone has to open up a bag of sh on me!
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As I continue to relax on vacation, I’m reminded yet again how important it is to take that time to relax and reward me. Just heard this song on my iPod, a classic by Otis Redding:
“I’m sittin’ on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I’m just sittin’ on the dock of the bay
Wastin’ time”
How are you unplugging mentally today? How are you giving yourself a mental break and maintaining levity? Even is it’s only for 5 minutes, take the time.
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As I sit beach side in a lake front cottage relaxing with the warm breeze flowing, I realized it is time for my annual ADD vacation.
No, I’m not magically cured of ADD. Every August I take a one month break from working on me and ADD. I stop my coaching process with Adult ADHD Coach Pete Quily, I stop self analysis, I just stop. While working on ourselves is so important, no matter what it is……we all need to teak a break. During a break, it’s also important to reflect back on what you have accomplished and reward yourself too. Give that some thought, congratulate yourself and reward yourself. You deserve it!
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All the good folks out there with ADD/ADHD can experience stressful times. The more stress that a person faces the worse their ADHD can become, unless you have the tools to manage yourself through the process.
I find one of the best techniques is to relax. When the poop hits the fan, (yes, that is a modified version of an old saying you have likely heard) you need to relax with things like deep breathing, walking away from your challenge for a moment, meditation, exercise or various other ways that work for you.
Take a chill-pill, chill out, chillax, chillify. Learn to recognize when it’s time to manage your stress.
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Back in December 2009 I posted here and titled that post, Patience Is a Virtue. Over the past couple days, I have been reminded of the post and I went back to read it as a refresher and gather my thoughts in a rather frustrating situation.
If you are an ADD’er like me, we must all take that deep breath, take a step back and exercise our patience. As I posted previously, many people (not just us with Add) lack patience, rush into things, over react and are challenged by this state of endurance. So I decided to Google “conflict resolution in 3 steps” in order to help me through this frustrating experience. Here is one of the results I came up with:
#1. Never attempt to talk through a problem while angry.
#2. Begin by stating the basic objective problem. Eliminate personal feelings and bias.
#3. Listen to your opponent’s position. Examine it for logic and wisdom. Differing points of view may offer you the elusive answer.
With my patience in check and a reminder of a few helpful steps on conflict resolution, I proceeded ahead in the best state of mind and emotion I could. I’m pleased with my position and conduct and have the gift of learning to be patient to be thankful for.
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