Pills Don't Teach Skills

All the good folks out there with ADD/ADHD can experience stressful times. The more stress that a person faces the worse their ADHD can become, unless you have the tools to manage yourself through the process.

I find one of the best techniques is to relax. When the poop hits the fan, (yes, that is a modified version of an old saying you have likely heard) you need to relax with things like deep breathing, walking away from your challenge for a moment, meditation, exercise or various other ways that work for you.

Take a chill-pill, chill out, chillax, chillify. Learn to recognize when it’s time to manage your stress.

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Back in December 2009 I posted here and titled that post, Patience Is a Virtue. Over the past couple days, I have been reminded of the post and I went back to read it as a refresher and gather my thoughts in a rather frustrating situation.

If you are an ADD’er like me, we must all take that deep breath, take a step back and exercise our patience. As I posted previously, many people (not just us with Add) lack patience, rush into things, over react and are challenged by this state of endurance. So I decided to Google “conflict resolution in 3 steps” in order to help me through this frustrating experience. Here is one of the results I came up with:
#1. Never attempt to talk through a problem while angry.
#2. Begin by stating the basic objective problem. Eliminate personal feelings and bias.
#3. Listen to your opponent’s position. Examine it for logic and wisdom. Differing points of view may offer you the elusive answer.

With my patience in check and a reminder of a few helpful steps on conflict resolution, I proceeded ahead in the best state of mind and emotion I could. I’m pleased with my position and conduct and have the gift of learning to be patient to be thankful for.

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I expect too much of myself and am too hard on myself. In the process of ADD coaching, self growth and the symptom of getting hyper focused with tasks I take on, I often find myself getting frustrated with results.

I have found myself creating expectations that I can’t deliver on or meet. It is dangerous to expect too much from yourself. While it is important to strive for results, growth and goals, we must not get caught up in the ADD world of becoming hyper focused. It can lead to a self defeating end result, when in reality realistic goal setting can deliver success and positive ground to build on.

Rome wasn’t built in a day and we shouldn’t place ourselves under unrealistic pressure.

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On my road of experience with ADD I can look back and identify many points along the way that were milestones, where change took place and a shift for the better occurred within me. One milestone that was a key factor in my personal growth, was physical health.

I view exercise and nutrition as the building blocks of both physical and emotional health. Exercise is unique to each individual and with so many different ways to participate, there are a lot of options to consider. For me, I have always been very active in athletics so the process of finding an exercise routine that worked for me was very enjoyable. One thing remains true in almost every person’s life no matter who you are, nothing is better than exercise and balanced eating habits. I hate the word diet! While I exercise in many different ways, the two consistent aspects of my exercise program are running and weight lifting.

As I started to work towards my goals, there were many changes that I started to notice in myself. The first and most obvious was I was losing my excess weight, which was also tied to healthy nutrition. The second impact was that I started to become much more energized throughout my workday and weekends. I had more energy to complete my workday and more energy to play with my kids. This energy also translated into a clearer and sharper mind for me, which is very important in the challenge one faces with ADD. When my mind is clear from exercising, I can focus more, I can think in a more logical and structured fashion and that allows me to attain better results in all areas of my life. In this busy world, there will be times when work, family or unplanned events will draw you away from your required exercise.

I have learned two very important lessons regarding this:
1)Schedule it
2)If I don’t do it, I will not function at my capacity.

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Based on the self analysis tool The Wheel of Life, I came up with a quick evaluation to help understand the workplace, and look closer at the toxic job. I call it The Wheel of Work.

People with ADD need to evaluate and take stock in what works and what doesn’t work in their lives. Being self aware is very important. Personally, I have discovered what was toxic in my work environment and I will look differently at what a boss is like in my future. Hey, I may even be the boss again in the future, so this exercise will help me either way.

I did an informal study by reaching out to friends and working professionals I know. I asked them what four criteria were the most important factors that would impact the work place negatively. Based on my own personal thoughts and the feedback I received, the four most important factors that contribute to workplace negativity or the toxic job are as follows:

It’s really no big surprise that The Boss is the most noted category, according to my informal survey. Think about the importance of your boss in the workplace. There are many key elements to what a boss does or contributes. In my experiences, there are many challenges that can arise when you work with the wrong boss like:

- Communication
- Ego
- Insecurity
- Close minded
- Not a good listener

We all need to improve continually. Understanding who you are, what your strengths consist of and what challenges you is an important part of this process. Managing ADD and understanding what works for you in your career go hand-in-hand. Continue to understand this, it will create a better career path for you.

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The intent of Pills Don’t Teach Skills has been to show everyone that managing ADD can be accomplished. One of the many ways is without medication. I came across an interesting site today called More Than Medication. It’s a wellness site dedicated to sharing things you can do to stay healthy by looking at prevention, instead of medication. Ironically, the site is operated by Pfizer, the global pharmaceutical company. Could this be the start of a kinder, gentler pharmaceutical world as we know it? I thought I would share it with all of you, here is the link to More Than Medication.

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Have you ever been in a toxic job? Let me tell you, I was recently. Unrealistic expectations and a boss who was unbearable. What a nightmare!! It impacts your sleep, heightens levels of stress and creates an environment that becomes counterproductive. A good sense of humor helps!!!

As ADD Coach Pete Quily said on his site regarding the toxic job, “The worst kind of toxic job is the gradual one. The golden or velvet handcuffs. (no, nothing to do with S&M). The job where the money and or the benefits trap you.“

When your happiness and professional goals are at stake, you need to look closely at the toxic job and make some serious decisions and determine if it’s right for you, or not. The toxic job causes issues for everyone. For people with ADD, it can manifest on top of some of the challenges some people face with the many traits of ADD. Understand what your ADD challenges are and how the toxic work place can impact you. It’s your life…… and life is too short to let the wrong work environment impact your life negatively. An old boss once told me, “your job will never love you“. So true.

Check out Pete Quily’s site to read his write up on Toxic Job

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Very interesting info I stumbled across regarding ADD and studying. Check it out, here.

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I’ve been a little tardy with posting recently, sorry. Came across an interesting read on Science Daily today entitled, ADHD Linked to Interaction of Genetics and Psychology. If you are interested, here is the link.

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