Pills Don’t Teach Skills

If you are old enough to remember or you are a music fan, “Communication Breakdown” is a song by English rock band Led Zeppelin, from their 1969 debut album Led Zeppelin. It was one of the first songs that Jimmy Page and Robert Plant worked on together.

I think we’ve all had some communication breakdowns at various points of our lives and in relationships. When I reflect back on my past, I can see where ADD affected the various relationships in my life, be it personal or business. However, there were both positive and negative ways my relationships were impacted.

Most people with ADD are creative, offer high levels of energy and are also spontaneous. These traits or characteristics bring many wonderful things into a relationship. What a person with ADD needs to be aware of, is that typical ADD’ers can lack communication skills, will interrupt others and can be forgetful. Ultimately, this impacts communication in any relationship.

According to About.com, the most often heard complaint about relationships with an ADD’er, is that person refuses to seek treatment. I feel fortunate for having sought treatment and developing the necessary skills and thought processes to communicate effectively. In my experience, I found there were a number of key areas that I worked on which have delivered benefits, such as:
- Learning to listen
- Listening without interrupting
- Being more empathetic
- Learning more about a situation or topic being communicated with an individual
- Learning that a slower well thought out response is worth the wait, instead of a quick inaccurately relayed message (a.ka. foot in mouth)

All simple things, but challenges that are typical for most ADD’ers to be aware of and work on. If an ADD’er can harness their creative, energetic and spontaneous nature, they can be hard to stop on the road to success!!

It’s healthy to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes. Charles Schulz the creator of the Charlie Brown/Peanuts comic strip once said “If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.” So, lets start now…here is an ADD joke for you;

Two ADDers were sitting at the table of the local diner. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.

“I got a cookbook once,” said one, “but I could never do anything with it.”

“Too much fancy work in it, eh?” asked the other.

“You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way: ‘Take a clean dish…’”

Lots more ADD jokes to chuckle at on this site.
http://user.cybrzn.com/~kenyonck/add/add_jokes.htm

Are you a parent who has ADD? Do you know a parent who has ADD? Welcome to the club!! Unfortunately, there are no loyalty points in this club.

Raising children at the best of times is a lot of work and presents a lifetime of challenges for any parent. Challenges can be magnified when a parent has ADD. Fortunately, the majority of adults respond well to treatment. It is estimated that upwards of 6% of the adult population has ADD. 40% of children who have ADD have at least one parent who also meets the criteria for diagnosis, so say the folks at BestSyndication.com.

If ADD is part of your parenting equation, or someone you know, I just may have a tip that could help out. Are you ready? Here it is…….be proactive.

Yup, that’s it. Seems more like commonsense doesn’t it? That’s not the case when dealing with ADD. As I have worked successfully through the challenges of ADD, one topic that has come up with my ADD Coach Pete Quily (yes, this is an endorsement and shameless plug) is having a parenting plan with my kids. I’m referring in this case to planning in one week increments, exactly what I plan on doing with my kids. Taking a proactive approach eases the stress of last minute planning, keeps you focused and maximizes the experiences with the kids.

You may have experienced just hanging out with your kids and a conversation that includes the comment “what are we going to do”? I have found it very effective to plan these one week periods with my kids and the results are clearly saying, it works! I take 5 minutes on a Sunday to plan and schedule activities with my kids for the week. This includes things like reading night, games night, games related to homework, social get togethers, play dates and most importantly………….some down time to give them a well deserved break too.

All too often people in general don’t proactively plan. This is also true when it comes to interacting with kids. To sound like a cliché or maybe even a bad Whitney Houston song, the children are our future!! We plan business meetings proactively, we proactively plan construction projects, flight paths of airlines, a dinner party and even the errands to do on the weekend. Yet for some reason, why don’t we consider planning activities with kids as something that should be done proactively? It works, really!

As a continuation to my post on August 8th 2007, just wanted to offer some additional feedback. I’ve received a couple great comments on the post and it doesn’t stop there. I’ve taken a more open approach to discussing ADD and the comments & support have been outstanding from everyone I’ve spoken with.

This offers further support, that ADD is becoming much more recognized and accepted today. The acceptance and understanding is not yet where it needs to be, but we’ll get there!

A very common trait of people impacted with ADD, is the challenge of listening. Heck, who’s kidding who, it’s a common trait with most people!! Maintaining interest is hard when the ability to focus or concentrate is not what it should be for a person.

I recall being younger and sitting in school, or participating in business meetings and wondering what had just been said over the past 2 minutes. At times, I felt like I had completely checked out of reality and physically gone some where on a mental vacation. That’s one of the up-hill battles in learning to manage ADD and I hope that what I’m about to share with you will be of benefit to you or someone you know who is challenged by ADD.

In my experience with ADD, I have done a lot to work through the challenges including medication, ADD coaching and various other efforts. All have been great and delivered wonderful results. I was recently reminded of one simple little action that allows me to focus when listening to a person speaking.

I coach my son’s hockey team and trying to get a large group of 7 year olds to focus and listen on the ice can be a big job. One of the other coaches who is very involved in the association with the kids said something to the kids, when a few of them were not paying attention. It reminded me of what I do to focus when I’m listening. He said “I want you to listen with your eyes”.

There were obviously a hand full of kids who thought that was pretty funny, however one 7 year old actually knew what the coach meant. The 7 year olds reply was, “it means I should look right in your eyes when you are talking coach!”. From that point on, you could see each of those kids looking at the coaches when we spoke.

The same holds true for adults with ADD. When you need to listen and focus on what someone is saying, look them straight in the eye. This action establishes a connection, helps to keep you focused and ultimately……makes you a better listener.

While a mental get away has its place and is OK on occasion, staying focused in a conversation and listening with your eyes allows you to avoid those moments when you realize………you have just taken that mental vacation, at the wrong time.

For me, ADD and exercise go hand-in-hand. One of the best kept secrets about managing ADD is, participation in exercise or physical activity. Now, we all know that exercise can have benefits; it can improve your cardiovascular fitness and muscular endurance. This will result in the general improvement of your well being.

Studies confirm and show that exercise increases levels of two key brain chemicals, dopamine and norepinephrine. These chemicals help people focus. So, if we “connect the dots”, it’s rather obvious that if someone with ADD exercises………….their brain will produce dopamine and norepinephrine resulting in increased focus.

Perfect, the problem of ADD is solved!! Well, not really. The difficulty is that by the next day, the effect of exercise has worn off, including the increased levels of dopamine and norepinephrine in our brains. In my case, daily exercise was the action I chose and it has delivered results. The most important thing in establishing any level of exercise, is to consult your Doctor and be sure to exercise within your capabilities. For me, I work out every day. My workouts include running 10km, weights at the gym, biking, ice hockey, roller blading, squash and a good old fashion walk sometimes.

No matter what I do, exercise helps me to keep my focus, burn off excess energy, melt away frustration and places me in better state of being. I was recently away on a trip with my kids and found working out to be a challenge. During that time I noticed I was more irritable and less focused. Upon my return home, getting back into my daily exercise routine got me back on track. So, the secret formula consists of one part ADD and one part exercise. Combined, you get ADDercise. What is your next ADDercise activity? Quick, someone notify Wikipedia …..I think I’ve just created a new word!

September is upon us once again, it’s my favorite time of the year! Another September Morn, as in morning….not mourning. In fact a crisp cool September Morn is as far away from mourning for me as possible.

September brings so much opportunity, change and excitement for me and most people I know. The school year starts for my kids (thank goodness), business starts to get back into full speed after many people have vacationed and slowed down in August. Hockey season is getting closer, football season is upon us, the baseball playoffs are just on the horizon and the change of season is refreshing and exhileratiting. Sorry to sound like info-commercial selling something, but if you are like most people…………September is likely offering you a lot of change and opportunity as well.

With so much on the calendar this month, I’ll pose two simple questions to you;

a) What opportunities are before you this month?
b) What is your plan to take advantage of these opportunities?

No matter what great and exciting things lay before you in September, we all need to take an organized, planned and smoothly executed process forward in order to take advantage of any opportunity. Sounds like the perfect self-challenge for anyone with ADD to look at our planning and follow through. In many cases, ADD does impact the process of planning and follow through. What has worked wonders for me is a process that involves these three steps:

1. Identify one opportunity I have
2. Create a plan of what I need to do to take advantage of this opportunity to succeed.
3. Schedule and plan when I need to follow through with specific tasks that will allow me to succeed.

Ah yes, September Morn……..also a great song by Neil Diamond. Check these lyrics out from September Morn;

And look how far we’ve come
So far from where we used to be
But not so far that we’ve forgotten
How it was before

Take that and do what you will…….. and enjoy September!

While it may not be as big of a publicity machine as Football Night in America featuring Bob Costas & Cris Collinsworth, or Hockey Night in Canada with Ron MacLean & Don Cherry……it’s National AD/HD Awareness Day, which will be celebrated this year on September 19. Please check out the Attention Deficit Disorder Association web site for more information at

http://www.add.org/awareness/index.html

I love the ADDA byline on their website…… “we raise AD/HD awareness and empower AD/HD individuals to live full and successful lives!”

We’ve all seen the Oprah Show and Dr. Phil where on occasion they talk about ADD/ADHD. I think it’s about time someone stepped up and told good stories about ADD/ADHD in a public forum that can reach millions of people. I’d like to be that voice. I’m on a mission to share my experiences, the personal story of overcoming the challenges of Adult ADD. I want to share my experiences and what has worked for me with hope that, I can act as an inspiration for others who are challenged by ADD/ADHD. I think this is a GREAT story for millions of people to hear and it can help. If you can assist me, it would be appreciated. If you feel my Blog is a positive and informative site that has a good message, email Oprah and Dr. Phil to tell them about http://www.pillsdontteachskills.com/ . Here are the contact sites for both TV shows:

To contact the producers of the Oprah show, click here or copy this link into your Internet web browser:

http://www.oprah.com/email/reach/email_showideas.jhtml

To contact the producers of the Dr. Phil show, click here or copy this link into your Internet web browser:

http://www.drphil.com/plugger/respond/?plugID=9164

Thanks everyone, I hope we can make a difference and help bring more attention to Adult ADD.

In surfing the Internet for ADD related materials, knowledge and to further expand my horizons…….I’m literally in shock over how much negativity seems to be surfacing. I’m seeing so many stories on what horrible events a person has experienced, or how ashamed people are about having ADD. Other topics I’ve seen include diagnosis, symptoms, medication, bad behavior, mis-diagnosis and the list goes on and on. Man, what a downer!!!

While many of these stories and topics are valuable and assist people in learning and understanding ADD, we have got to find a way to also take a positive approach to compliment these heavy news items and stories.

I’m trying to change that. If you’ve noticed on this blog, the experiences I share probably relate to many of the topics that I spoke about being such a downer. The big difference is, I’m creating a positive side to my experience and hoping it can serve as an example to others that ADD in most cases, can be effectively managed.

As Colin Powell former Chairman of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff once said, “Bad news isn’t wine. It doesn’t improve with age.”

If you by chance have found this blog, I appreciate your time and taking a moment to do some reading. Help spread the word, there can be good stories that are both inspirational and real! I like good news, what about you?